I am going to be a parent

With Kris’ help, I have found a number of blogs throughout my pregnancy that were helpful, funny and interesting reads. Each one has given me peace of mind because they don’t make me feel alone or crazy throughout this experience.

But today, I caught myself on a new blog - http://www.rookiemoms.com/. This is unlike most of what I read thus far… no more advice on how to relieve heartburn and bloat during pregnancy. No more reassurance that those kicks are just hiccups and not the baby having a seizure. I have found myself moving on to sites about what life will be like, well… for the rest of my life. As a parent.

I had a freak out moment this morning. I am scared shitless to be a parent despite the fact that was our main goal of getting pregnant in the first place. Someone is going to be dependent on me – 100% of the time for the next 18 years (at least, but if this kid is anything like me, they will be looking to me for support for the rest of my life).

As scared as I am, I am much more excited. I am so excited to meet our daughter or son. I am excited about the firsts… our first look (boy or girl?!?), first breastfeeding, first kiss, first night in the big boy/girl bed, first days of school, first dances, first family vacations and countless others. But what I am most excited about… giving my child the life I have and more – I was given so much throughout my child- and adulthood. I can’t wait to give my kids the same love, support and encouragement that I am blessed to have by my parents.

That said… I have just about 9 weeks (give or take of course) until all of those firsts, begin. For now, I will commit to enjoying the moments Chad and I have left in pregnancy – finishing the nursery, the baby shower, Vegas, Thanksgiving and the holidays (possibly New Years). The next 9-10 weeks are our the last moments we have to ourselves… let’s make the best of it.

Yes, Chad is trying to do something inappropriate to the pumpkin stem.

Edward Cullen and Pregnany Bella - Halloween 2012