Hi DEC 30th!!!!! Oh… wait…wait… where are you going? Bye Dec. 30th.

Overdue and overtired… positive thoughts need to commence.

38 weeks

I should not be complaining as much as I am at only one day overdue. I knew going into my due date that my chances of going into labor yesterday were a measly 5% but I still got my hopes up. It is hard not too – for the past nine months (and even more so throughout the third trimester), all we can think about it this baby and its arrival. The past few weeks have been even crazier. It is like this hurry and wait attitude that is really starting to catch up with me. You rush around to make sure that everything is set up, purchased, cleaned and prepared – all to wait for your body to start the natural yet crazy process of labor.


Hello due date - Dec 30, 2012

Before I got to this point, I did not understand all of the hype around natural labor induction methods – sex, squats, spicy food, walking (forwards, backwards and even sideways), cleaning and again, sex. And then it was like a switch went off - I found myself committing some of these ridiculous methods all on the slim hope that they would at least trick my body into thinking that they worked (remember my positive attitude about “Mind Over Matter”). Chad had me walking sideways from the doctor’s office to my car, to be funny… but when I took the dog for a walk a few hours later, I walk sideways in the neighborhood – just me and the dog, no one around to make a joke of it – I was actually attempting this as a labor inducer. Chad and I were also told about a friend’s wife who went into labor after eating a “bloomin’ onion” from Outback based on the suggestion of her doctor because it worked for all of her pregnancies. So what did Chad and I do the second Melissa got back into town, we went to dinner and he pretty much shoved fried onions down my throat (not that there was much fight). I have spent hours cleaning and organizing – all in attempt to stay active.

What it really comes down to is patience. We have to wait. This baby and my hormones are calling the shots. The more relaxed we are the better but it is so hard not to be anxious but it is having a huge impact on me and Chad’s sleep. Every movement and cramp wakes me up – and the night sweats that drench me each night fool me into believing that my water may have broken.

So it is New Year’s Eve and I think that Chad and I are going to celebrate from the comfort of our living room with movies and each other. Nothing fancy needed and I am not really feeling doing much else. For my baby shower I was given a scrap book and I think that I am going to use it as my baby book. Tonight I want to create a page for hospital visitors J

The good news, statiscally I will have the baby this week!

As for resolutions… I think I will wait to make any until the baby is here – I believe MEM will be my inspiration for self-improvement.

How I am feeling. Crampy, Gassy, tired and puffy. Wait… I think I am having a contraction… tooooot.. nope, just gas. BLARG!



 

 

 

Way behind.

From a few weeks ago.

Before I talk about my life for the next 10 minutes, I think that it is only right to talk about the tragedy in CT last Friday – My heart and prayers are with all of the families who lost a child, a teacher, a sister, a brother, a confidant, a parent and a friend. My hearts go out to those in mourning. I pray for those who were lost – no matter what has happened to them afterlife, I believe G-d is taking good care of them. We ask ourselves “How could a human being commit such an atrocity?” but the truth is… a human can’t. This man was not a human… he does not deserve the designation. Not to say he was an animal, either. He was nothing… nothing that deserves attention or love. He was heartless and soulless. Too many people in this world suffer from mental incapacities that don’t commit such crimes against humanity – his medical condition is no excuse. As adults, it is our responsibility to seek help. He was an adult. A grown man. He knew right from wrong.

Ok, I am waddling down from my soap box, now.

Things in the pregnancy are progressing well. At my 37 week appointment I was VERY slightly dilated and about 25% effaced, nothing to nuts. But the baby did move a bit lower, to station -1. Again, I am really trying to avoid putting too much pressure on the numbers, placements, stations, percentages… yada, yada, yada, because none of it is a perfect prediction of when my labor will begin or how it will progress.

Things in the nursery are coming to a close. The clothes are washed and we are creating a list of the last few items that we need. Most of which can be taken care of in an afternoon.

Not much this week. Fail.

 

Spolied.

Written on 12/13/2012... I am slow in posting.

We are spoiled rotten. The last few weeks have been a dream – filled with parties, well wishes and preparations for Baby MEM’s arrival. Melissa, mom and mama Ball threw me a beautiful shower complete with “guess the poop” and other games that made the afternoon a blast. Yes, I do love all of the silly bridal and baby shower games, no joke. So many of my close friends and family were able to come for the afternoon and it meant the world to me. Not to mention, we were “showered” with gifts that put Chad and I’s mind at ease because it is really intimidating to think about all of the things, big and small, you need for an incoming baby.

About a week later, I was surprised with another shower, at work – my coworkers threw me a lovely party with more games, great food and again, a stack of gifts we are thankful for receiving. Baby Mildenstein’s room has gotten delightfully full over the past two weeks.

Chad and I have come a long way on the nursery – the furniture has been put together, some of the photos are hung, and the baby’s clothes are washed and put away. There are a few other things that need to be finished – but we are getting there.

How I am feeling. Until this past weekend, I did not understand why pregnant women were so cranky toward the end of pregnancy - I could not understand the “I am just over it” frame of mind. But the day I met the 37 week milestone it seemed that all of the annoying 9^th month symptoms greeted me. Burping up fiery belly liquid, a new gravitational pull coming from my “no-no” place, an obscene amount of gas (way too much fiber this week), peeing about every 15 minutes (at least having the urge too) and no sex drive to speak of (poor Chad).

Chad and I have also been a bit cranky lately – I blame the abundance of emotions we are both going through. Both of us are overly excited, stressed, nervous, anxious and undoubtedly happy about the arrival of MEM. All of that has made for PMS on crack between the two of us. With emotions hitting each end of spectrum on a daily basis, we can switch between fighting to the death and smothering each other with kisses from one minute to the next.

This past Sunday, I had my first bout with “first time mom” jitters that sent me to the ER. I had not felt the baby move throughout the day with the exception of a bump here and there. Touching Google with that kind of symptom is dangerous because the first words that appear are “still birth” so Chad and I went from having an awesome time at the 3^rd annual Gilpin/Mildenstein/Ball Hanukkah party to Civista. The RN was very nice but she did give me a bit of a hard time about no calling my Dr. before coming in – which really was a dumb mistake. But the whole experience gave me peace of mind which was worth every moment we spent in L&D that evening. One other mistake I made, I kept my fears and the night to myself… it was something I should have shared with at least mom and Mel – they care about Chad and I and this baby, they deserved to know if I thought was something was wrong. I am regretful for keeping things secret and going forward, I will keep family aware of the bumps in the road.

After 36 weeks, I have the joy of going to the OB once a week and I can honestly say, I do look forward to the appointments. Anytime I get to hear the babble of the baby’s heartbeat, I get excited (and teary). With my due date approaching there is a new element to my check-ups… vaginal exams. The Dr. or my PA (whomever I am seeing that particular day), has the distinct honor to lay my knees to the side and give my birth canal a once over. As of last week, the baby’s head was down but the shop is still completely closed. At 36w3d, that is perfectly acceptable and if I have the same result at today’s appointment that is ok too! I was over joyed with the news that the head was down and although I know that can change, my chances of a breech baby have gone down. The head is in the -2 station. I am going to go ahead and thank the yoga for that positioning.

36 weeks and 6 days.

 

Getting less and less comfortable, but more and more excited!

(from Tuesday, 11/23) This past weekend, Chad and I took a babymoon to LAS VEGAS. Yes, at 34 weeks pregnant, I took a six-hour flight to Nevada and I had an AMAZING time. A good friend of ours was getting married and it was the perfect excuse to take a trip. Chad has always wanted to go to Las Vegas and it was on his bucket list to complete before we had kids. Check!

We went with Melissa and Zack and I can honestly say… we had a great time. We enjoyed shows, gambling, exhibits, food, a wedding/reception and LOTS of walking. It was a great opportunity for Chad and I to be frivolous and delightfully selfish one last time before the baby comes into our lives. It is not that I think that Chad and I will never have the opportunity to be crazy or frivolous again, but it is going to be a long time and after MEM makes an appearance, we both know how much things will change, well at least as much as we can expect.

For the most part, my growing body handled the trip well with the exception of the flights. Per doctor’s orders, I was supposed to get up and walk around as much as possible to avoid swelling and blood clots (something pregnant women can be more susceptible too during pregnancy). The first leg of our departure flight was short and I did not need to get up really but after the second flight, my calves looked like tree trunks by the time I got off of the plane and they were slightly numb. I don’t think I drank enough water or got up enough. Luckily after walking for a few hours and elevating my legs, everything seemed to clear up until we flew home. But a day later and my legs have returned to their normal chubbiness. Other than the swelling, I had some hip and sciatica pain throughout the trip but it is all good. It felt great to walk so much!

Chad seemed to have a burst of energy when we got home yesterday (me not so much, I nodded off on the couch for the afternoon/evening) and painted the nursery. The color is a lot darker than we expected but still within the same color family as the canvas print that we are basing the room’s décor. He was getting very frustrated with the number of coats he had to paint, but I think that is an unfortunate fact of using a dark color… there is no hiding unevenness or missed spots. It also does not help that I am a control freak. The nursery furniture was also delivered! I am so excited to see how it all looks put together in the room – it will be fun to play with all of the configurations. Picture to come. 

Prepping the room

First coat of paint - I think this is the only
layer that matched the paint

 

After



So not the blue we expected
but I still love the color



 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I would like to think that I have done a lot of research to this point about preparing for labor, the stages of labor and what to expect on the day(s) that I reach that point. With that research, Chad and I decided to attempt a natural birth. We came to this decision based on a number of reasons. Taking this path does not mean that I have judgment against women who use pain management (who knows, I may be one of them… it would be hard to say with a straight face that I am ready to take an epidural off the table completely). I know that statically, my chances of a completely natural birth are low, especially since I have chosen to check into a hospital for my birth. A hospital can mean increased monitoring, rules and more options for intervention suggested throughout labor. These are facts that I have come across via research, conversations with my doctor, a hospital course; I have accepted these facts as I would prefer to have the baby in a hospital versus a birthing center (not much an option in my immediate area) or at home (my house is a mess… my baby would come out and be automatically covered with pet hair since I can’t keep it in control).

With a natural birth as our goal, Chad and I are taking a few steps to set us up for the best possible outcome but we also understand that we need to keep an open/flexible mind throughout the delivery process – not everything will go perfectly along with our birthing plan. Letting go of control is difficult for me but have to realize that I can’t control all of the things my body will do during labor/delivery. We have hired a doula to support Chad and I throughout the labor – Stacey is awesome and I am really coming to trust and appreciate her expertise. She will be on hand throughout my labor, during the delivery and following the birth to help us and answer questions. This will be very important when we start getting information from the nurses or doctors that we don’t quite understand. Sometimes they all get busy (completely understandable), so having Stacey there to help us understand what is going in what could be a hectic situation will be a huge help. I am hoping that we will be able to make more informed decisions about what we are offered during birth if things don't go according to plan because she is able to explain things to us. I will also have my mother there – in her previous life, she was a post-partum nurse, and she is very knowledgeable. Stacey is also going to attempt a number of natural techniques to help me through labor pain and most importantly, she will be helping Chad, help me, as he is my official birthing coach. I am taking a prenatal yoga class twice a week to help with my breathing, muscle strength and flexibility, all useful during labor and delivery. Stacey is also the class’s teacher giving us even more time to get more comfortable with one another. We make an attempt to get together every few weeks for lunch or coffee, just to catch up one on one.

Since natural births are so uncommon at this point, I guess I should not be terribly surprised with the number of judgmental snickers I get when I share our birth plan. But it is frustrating since I have tried to stay so non-judgmental about other’s choices that I don’t necessarily agree with. While I understand people may not understand our choice to move forward the way we have chosen, I wish they would ask me why before passing judgment or assuming I can’t do something.

34 weeks and 2 days along.

There are one thousand violins playing for me…

I am beyond whiny today… I am apologizing in advance for it. If you are not in the mood to hear grumblings, than I recommend watching something adorable: http://ww​w.youtube​.com/watc​h?v=whAL8​7ZZSJ8&fe​ature=you​tu.be  

How I am feeling:  

Today I am 31 weeks and 5 days. For the most part, I feel great and I consider myself very lucky for it. I am not experiencing swelling and varicose veins. I think I just found my first stretch mark although it is only the size of a tooth pick (it may just be a scratch on second thought) so I can’t complain about that… and I have had not had a “baby scare” in months… MEM is moving great, no bleeding, nothing… I have been very blessed with this pregnancy and I hope the next two months go as smoothly.

But can I be a brat for a minute?

I am tired, my lower back hurts, at night I tend to get a sharp pain in my left butt cheek (yes, an actual pain in my ass – sciatica I am assuming) and I’M TIRED. I really can’t stress that enough. Blame it on the crappy sleep for the past three months but it all seems to be hitting me like a ton of bricks. In the last week I have also noticed an increase in abdominal pressure, tightening and cramping – maybe because I only get the opportunity to poop two-three times a week. I miss regularity. Yes, TMI but to be honest, I fart unintentionally so often in front of everyone (colleagues, peers, family, the dog), I have lost any shame I may have had before pregnancy.

To top it all off, my work situation is not good right now. I can’t go into detail on a public forum, but the whole thing does not make life easier and my anxiety level is rising. I am looking forward to time off with the baby.

Ok, I am done.

In better news, I signed up for a prenatal yoga class on Tuesday and Thursday evenings at the community college near my office. I have taken the class a few times before with the same instructor (different location), who happens to be our doula too, and I really enjoy it. But don’t think for a moment that because the term “prenatal” is inserted in front of the class’ name that it is any easier than a normal yoga class. The class kicks my ass. Maybe because I was never into yoga prior to the pregnancy or because I am out of shape at this point. There are five of us in the class and I am the youngest new mother… In fact there is a 46 year old first time mom. She is in amazing shape and her attitude is so bright, I really think the world of her.

Chad and I are finally buying the nursery’s paint this weekend (we were waiting for the semi-annual sale at Sherwin Williams) and hopefully we can work on that on Sunday. Saturday afternoon I am finally getting my butt to see Kris’ new house. I can’t wait for a night of board games, food and cock (mock)tails.

Fun in the coming weeks:

Vegas in 15 days: Don’t worry, my doctor said traveling prior to 35 weeks is just fine and I don’t need special permission from the airline.

Thanksgiving: 20 days

Baby Shower: 28 days

Chanukah: 36 days

Christmas: 53 days

BABY MILDENSTEIN: 45-73 days (I’ll be 38-42 weeks along)

 

 

I am going to be a parent

With Kris’ help, I have found a number of blogs throughout my pregnancy that were helpful, funny and interesting reads. Each one has given me peace of mind because they don’t make me feel alone or crazy throughout this experience.

But today, I caught myself on a new blog - http://www.rookiemoms.com/. This is unlike most of what I read thus far… no more advice on how to relieve heartburn and bloat during pregnancy. No more reassurance that those kicks are just hiccups and not the baby having a seizure. I have found myself moving on to sites about what life will be like, well… for the rest of my life. As a parent.

I had a freak out moment this morning. I am scared shitless to be a parent despite the fact that was our main goal of getting pregnant in the first place. Someone is going to be dependent on me – 100% of the time for the next 18 years (at least, but if this kid is anything like me, they will be looking to me for support for the rest of my life).

As scared as I am, I am much more excited. I am so excited to meet our daughter or son. I am excited about the firsts… our first look (boy or girl?!?), first breastfeeding, first kiss, first night in the big boy/girl bed, first days of school, first dances, first family vacations and countless others. But what I am most excited about… giving my child the life I have and more – I was given so much throughout my child- and adulthood. I can’t wait to give my kids the same love, support and encouragement that I am blessed to have by my parents.

That said… I have just about 9 weeks (give or take of course) until all of those firsts, begin. For now, I will commit to enjoying the moments Chad and I have left in pregnancy – finishing the nursery, the baby shower, Vegas, Thanksgiving and the holidays (possibly New Years). The next 9-10 weeks are our the last moments we have to ourselves… let’s make the best of it.

Yes, Chad is trying to do something inappropriate to the pumpkin stem.

Edward Cullen and Pregnany Bella - Halloween 2012

 

Third Trimester, Baby!

The past month has gone by in a blink – Getting from 24 weeks to 27 weeks took no time. It is hard to believe I am moving into the third trimester! 12 weeks and 6 days to go… under the assumption M.E.M does not decide to come early or late (statistically it will be one or the other).

27 Weeks. Sporting Momma Ball's gift to me
"Pregnant and fabulous!"

We have made no progress on the nursery – we went to buy the paint but could not get the color right so we are waiting until the Donald Duck photo canvas is delivered to match the paint. This disappointment led to tears at Sherwin Williams; my husband is so lucky. I am about 90% sure we have the furniture situation figured out thanks to a co-worker who is donating her kid’s stuff (I have no issue with used goods!).

The belly has finally started to really grow. But I will tell you that most people give me the “I can’t believe how not pregnant you look!”

Here is my rant. Pregnant women who have gained about 15 pounds don’t really want to hear that – we want to think that the weight we have gained is contributing to some kind of delightful baby bump and nothing else. I know the truth is that weight gain is not just absorbed by your uterus, but is distributed amongst many changing body parts. But I don’t care. Also, every time I see someone who knows I am pregnant, the first thing they do is look at my stomach. Before it was my boobs, now is my tummy – when will my face be noticed?

Chad and I found a doula – She is a certified by DONA and acts a prenatal yoga instructor. I have taken her yoga class a few times; although it is a challenge, I really enjoy it. It helps me sleep which is a welcomed benefit at this point of the pregnancy. When the time comes, Stacy (the doula) will come to our house and help Chad, help me. She is also trained in a number of techniques to help my labor progress and remain as comfortable as possible. Since a natural birth is still our goal, I am glad she will be there to coach us and be our advocate when we are in the hospital.

 

SURVEY:

Total Weight Gain: As of my appointment at 25 weeks, I was up about 12 pounds. We don’t have a scale in the house right now... purposely.

What I miss: I am not going to lie, I miss cocktails and beer. We went to two weddings this weekend and taking advantage of the open bars would have been delightful. I miss beer on Sundays and a glass of wine while I make dinner – two traditions I had become very fond of prior to pregnancy.

Sleep: Getting better – for a while, staying asleep throughout the night was a challenge. It still is but now I am able to fall back asleep as opposed to stay and think for 15-45 minutes.

Symptoms: I feel like my nausea is creeping back… not vomiting but I am getting the gag attacks a bit… this morning, the smell of my dog’s paws made my sick.  

Cravings: Nothing lately, for a while it was seafood.

Gender: Not sure and we won’t know for about 12 more weeks. Mia or Max will be determined when we deliver.

Movement: Changes from day to day. In fact, we had a few days that I was not feeling much of anything. As a result, I had a minor freak out and got a sonogram out of the deal. I have not heard from my doctor but she believes in “No news is good news.” Since those few days have passed, the baby has been moving just fine and I am not as concerned. The baby has been moving a lot in the afternoon lately and not as much at night. My favorite moment at my last appointment was when the baby kicked the Doppler… it was adorable.

I will say that after that weekend of little movement, I consider every kick to be a blessing.

Maternity Clothes: Oh, I had to say goodbye to my jeans about two or three months ago – This past month, most of my shirts are a no go, too.

Moving right along – tackling the nursery.

Figure 1

With a long weekend to work with, Chad andI set a goal for ourselves to begin the nursery over the Labor Day holiday. Iam happy to report our goal of cleaning the room out was accomplished! Chadspent Saturday disbursing his man cave elements to other portions of the house.His computer and desk went into our great room – it looks a lot better than Ithought, I am actually really happy with its placement. I am also very happyabout his over sized lazy boy chair moving into our bedroom… as are the cats (seefigure 1) – the three of us all took some time to test its napping functionality.

On Monday we rummaged through oldpaperwork, wedding stuff and endless wires from Chad’s gaming systems,finally making our way to the floor. I can’t believe how much has accumulatedin just a year and a half; I blame it on lack organization from the gecko.

Now that the room is cleared out, I amcomfortable with providing a ‘before’ shot of the nursery… 

Before

Before

Next step: PAINT!

I love this little guy! Thank you, Beyx.
http://beyx.deviantart.com/ 

Chad and I are using the illustration to the right that I found on the Internet as our nursery’s inspiration – there was something about this print I fell in love with and I think the colors will help maintain a unisex color palette since the sex will be a mystery for another 16.5 weeks. The plan is to paint the bottom portion of the chair rail and keep the white on top. But I want to think of one other element for the top portion of the chair rail… I will need to cruise Pinterest and DIY blogs for help.

Color swatches thanks to Kuler - kuler.adobe.com/

Center shade is the blue from the illustration,
I am leaning to the two lightest options

Center color is the shade of Donald's body but to avoid a "cold" feel
to the room I may use the shade all the way to the left
for above the chair rail or leave it white.

Seeing IS believing

The last few weeks have been non-stop. Two weeks ago, Chad and I finished our month run of “Wizard of Oz” – Chad was an exceptional Cowardly Lion and my performance as an Ozian and Putter wrangler was not half bad either. I was just happy to have the opportunity to spend so much time with Chad. For that reason alone, the show was worth doing – not to mention I got to spend a lovely amount of time with my nephew, Putter. He kicked ass as ToTo.

We also got to hang out with The Balls last weekend to include Rich and Holly, two of my favorite people. They are so down to earth and an absolute pleasure to be with and it is always great to see them. Mama Ball gave me a great T-shirt “fabulous and pregnant,” I am looking forward to proudly wearing that throughout the second half of my pregnancy.

Chad and I camped with a group of our friends this past weekend and we had a really good time. S'mores, campfires and watching your friends binge drink can make for a great time even if you wish you could have a beer with them ;-)

The 3d shots were neat
This was gives you a nice profile shot

So the baby... we are halfway there (barring any late or early arrival)! The absolute highlight of the last few weeks was the 20 week sonogram we had two Saturdays ago. For the first time, MEM looked like a real person… 10 toes, 10 fingers, spinal cord, bladder, kidneys… a delightful heartbeat. For the first time, I felt so connected to this pregnancy and the baby RAPIDLY growing in my belly. It was in that moment that I stopped caring I did not have the perfect round baby bump or about my financial fears or all of the imminent life changes Chad and I are facing because in that moment I started to love this being, this human Chad and I have created. Maybe I should have fallen in love the moment we conceived, when the blood testing confirmed my pregnancy or the day the baby is actually born but I don’t care about “supposed to” – everyone is different and this was our moment.

Hey boo!
MEM decided to keep her/his body in a
V formation throughout the sono.
Hello gymnast! 

This past Friday I had my follow up visit with Dr. Cooke and while she had not seen my sonogram photos yet (Umm, wtf?) but she did not seem concerned. The heartbeat sounded strong and she seems pleased with my progress. Next appointment – Sept. 14. At that point, my uterus should be above belly button level and she will begin using a tape measure to measure my stomach.  

Organized thoughts:

How far along are you? 21 weeks

Total weight gain: Six pounds, much less than I thought going into my doctor’s appointment. I still have a lot of trouble with the scale but I was a big girl and hopped on! From here on out, I should be gaining about a pound a week – crazytown!

How big is the baby? : Coming up on a pound! “Fatty fatty two x four, can’t fit through my vaginal door” Kidding of course… this baby has lots of weight to go.

Maternity clothes: My pants are a no go right now… with some pairs I can get away with the bella band but I am beginning to sport maternity pants a few days a week. I don’t have the baby bump yet but hot damn has my body changed. The weight I have gained seems to have moved to my belly and abdomen.  

Stretch marks?: No – When I was younger, I had the pleasure of getting stretch marks during a period of rapid weight gain but after losing the weight, they faded  but my stomach was never the same. My skin is a bit stretched and I may have enough to help the baby grow and avoid stretch markes (wishful thinking?).

Sleep: I have my good days and bad days. Because I should be avoiding positions on my stomach and back, I am more conscious of position throughout the night. I know it is not the end of the world if I wake up positioned on my front or back but I seem to be keeping it in the back of mind while I am sleeping… waking me up if I not sleeping “right.” Also, if I have anything to drink before bed, I will have to pee by 4:30 AM.

Best moment this week: Little kicks and I am still glowing from the 20 week sono a few weeks ago.

Movement: A handful of times a day – I can’t wait until Chad can feel it too.

Food cravings: Last night, out of nowhere, I had the hankering for pasta… I hate Olive Garden but after seeing a commercial for their endless pasta bowl I called Chad to ask him to stop and grab spicey sausage for my menu change (screw pork chops!). I feel like I could eat last night’s meal for every meal, right now. Other than that… unsweetened iced tea with a few equal has been hitting the spot.

Food aversions: F U Pico de Gallo

Labor signs: Not that I would know what those “signs” feel like… but nope. I did have a scary moment yesterday – at lunch, out of nowhere, I started shaking and things got really foggy. I think my blood sugar dropped. What an awful feeling… my doctor is out this week but the medical assistant told me to head to hospital if it happened again, words no pregnant woman wants to hear.

Belly button in or out: In.

What I miss: Wine and beer. Ugh… sushi…

What I'm looking forward to: Starting the nursery Labor Day weekend!

I’m hungry. Fin.

Bang, poom, POW!

At 19 weeks and three days, I think I finally felt the "bubbles" I kept reading about.

Picture it...

Chad is blasting the television.

Me: "Are we seriously watching Jurassic Park 4 before bed?"

Chad: "It is JP 2 and it is Jeff Goldbloom, of course we are!"

Ugh.

Any who, I was taking advantage of the five to ten minutes of back rest I give myself each evening before retreating to my left or right side to sleep when I felt a pop, or something that felt like that. I quickly put my hand to my stomach but nothing. Of course the moment I moved my had I felt it again and again. I don't think Chad and I will feel anything externally for a bit longer, but what a neat feeling! Chad did put his hand on my tummy and swears he felt something but who knows.

I am imagining my baby as the 1960's Adam West, to include the little "Boom" "Pow" "Bam" bubbles appearing next his/her teeny tiny hands.

I have been feeling pretty good the last few days - just the normal nausea that comes anytime I let my stomach get to the point of hunger pains. Have another snack? Don't mind if I do.

This weekend, Chad and I are heading to our 20 week sonogram. I am really looking forward to seeing what this baby looks like now that is does not resemble a bean or gummi bear. What I am not looking forward to, is the 32 ounces of water I have to finished one hour prior to my appointment. Full bladders and a dancing mother-to-be are apparently requirements to have a successful sonogram.

A little pregnancy post to pass the time.

Our first official pregnancy photo... around week 12.

I had some fun with this survey but mostly it made me cry. Another joyous part of pregnancy, you can't control your emotions. Example:

Random friend: "Hi Liz, how are you... wait, what's wrong, why are you crying? Is it something I said?"

I remember the days of MySpace when I did one of these surveys everyday (not pregnancy relate obviously).

1. What name did you and your spouse call your baby before you knew the gender?
We are not going to find out the gender so the nickname will be around for a few more months. We have been calling the baby anything from “Shme” to “lil’ Mildenstein” – I think that we are settled on “MEM” pronounced simply “M” – our baby’s future initials.

There was a contest amongst our friends that whoever won would get to pick the baby’s nickname… now for the life of me, I can’t remember!

2. When did "Oh-my-gosh-we're-having-a-baby" really sink it?
Not for a while. In fact, at almost 20 weeks, I am still coming to grips with the fact that I have a small human growing inside of me. Maybe that is because I am not sure if those flutters are M or gas… But it was pretty surreal to hear the heartbeat for the first time.

3. When you think of yourself as a mom, what's the first thing to come to mind?

Being cool, calm and collected – at least that is what I am hoping for. I have a goal to avoid passing on my anxieties to my children so I really need to stay in check.

4. Is your nursery complete? What's the theme and what do you have left to complete?

Not at all – we have not really started with the exception of moving the TV and game system out of the existing office.

However, we do have the theme picked out – Donald Duck, who happens to be my favorite childhood (and adulthood) cartoon character. I have loads of memorabilia saved up from the last 26 years and I am excited to pass it to the baby. Melissa and Zack have also gotten us a few items for the room including a framed classic Donald Duck (with Huey, Duey and Luey) comic that we are going to hang.

5. List 5 qualities you hope your baby will possess:

·        A great imagination
·        Energetic
·        Loving
·        Patient
·        HAPPY!

6. What's your ideal labor experience?

I would really like labor to remain energetic… I don’t want to lie in a bed waiting for something to happen. I am hoping to be up and using some natural pain relief methods… Since midwifes are not much of an option in my area, well not at all, I am hoping to find a labor coach to help me throughout the day. Any volunteers?

7. List 5 things that have changed in your relationship with your spouse since you've been pregnant:

I love seeing Chad’s excitement over the baby – he kisses (my non-existent) the belly and talks to it. We read our weekly progress together and he is really excited to get the nursery up and running. One of the reasons I fell in love with and married Chad was because I knew what an amazing father he would be… and I can see those changes already.

8. List 5 things you think will change once your baby arrives:

·        Sleep patterns
·        Priorities
·        Our time spent at home
·        Work/life balance (less work, more family)
·        EVERYTHING J

9. Where do you think you'll be when you go into labor? Why?

I am thinking I will be at home or work. I plan on working until the last minute and so I can have as much time as possible on maternity leave.

10. Have you been talking to your baby? Playing music?

We have had a few chats but I have not played any music for M yet since I am afraid to hold my iPhone up to my belly… I don’t weird cell phone radiation killer waves to go to the baby. Ok, I know… that is the dumbest thing in the world, shut up.

However, I do talk to the belly… and I let the cats and dog give the belly kisses.

11. In what ways do you hope your baby is like your spouse?

I hope our baby has Chad’s imagination and childlike persona – Chad still loves cartoons and video games and sports and all of the things many of us gave up when we turned 16. Vainly, I hope the baby has Chad’s amazing skin and hair.  

12. In what ways do you hope your baby is like you?

I hope the baby has my energy for adventure. I am not saying that I have done the craziest things in my life but I have had the opportunity to do a lot of cool and "once in a lifetime" type things. My parents provided us with every opportunity in the book and I feel like I took advantage of all of them.

13. How long will you wait for the next baby, or if this is your last one, why/why not?

Who knows… let’s get through this one first.

14. What kind of grandparents do you think your baby will have?

Amazing ones – there is more love in those people than can go around. I know they will love every grandchild with all of their hearts and souls.

15. Who will be with you during labor? Who will visit you in the hospital during your recovery?

I am not sure who will be in the delivery room with me yet… we don’t have that plan in stone. I do know that the waiting room will be filled with our loved ones.

As long as mommy and baby are healthy, I hope anyone who wants too, visits.

16. How much will you tell your baby (child, teenager) about your past? Why/why not?

I am willing to tell them whatever they want… to a point. Some secrets are between me, myself and I.

17. Do you have any hopes for your child's activities? (Sports, academics, school preference, activities, etc.)

There will be no pressure to join any specific sport or activity as long as they find something that makes good use of their time. I believe I got a lot out of being in band, theater and chorus – lifelong friends and memories. Those are things that a child can get from a variety of clubs.

18. When will you tell your baby about the birds and the bees?

Ugh… I don’t know. When the questions start coming, I suppose.

19. In what ways do you hope you'll parent like your parents did? In what ways do you hope you aren't like them?

If I can be half the parent my parents were to my sisters and I… I would be happy. My parents are two of the most loving and giving people on this planet.

20. Which childhood memory do you hope your child will have (similar to one you fondly remember)?

Summer camp! Family trips to Florida! Disney world!

21. And finally, be annoying! What "advice" do you want newly pregnant women to know?

Try to relax. I try that everyday… sometimes successfully, sometimes not so much.  

169.8

I think it is time to shed my "happy weight," which is the only name I can come up with to describe the ten pounds (and loss of muscle) that has occurred over the last year.

I'm not complaining! This year has been awesome... Finished this past weekend with my sisters beautiful (and tasty) wedding.

Tonight I came to the gym and took spinning for the first time in more than a year... Holy crap. There was a time I was doing this every other day? And body pump? I can't wait to get to the happy place again but this time I will find a better balance of good for me food and working out. My last fitness and food regime was a little unrealistic to maintain outside of the months leading up to my wedding. I do however, want to get back into my honeymoon bathing suits again. But most of all, I want to feel good again.

So I will give myself a few goals:
1. I am only allowed to weigh myself ONCE a week. Same scale, same time. Wednesday evenings

2. If Chad says "you look great" I will believe him

3. Eating will be balanced - a few less carbs and a lot more veggies.

4. Drinking (mmm... Cocktails) WILL slow down.

5. I will enjoy all of weight loss milestones... No matter the size.